This article looks into the possibility that you are not Programmed to achieve your distinguished goals (would you really be reading this article if you achieved all your goals). Luckily, we will also decipher how to transform your Programming and create the goals you choose. First, consider that you are programmed and that Programming is dictating your life. Your Programming is your genetic make-up. Your genetic make-up is comprised of your DNA and life experiences.
What is Programming? Programming is…
…scientists have understood that “genes load the gun, but environment pulls the trigger.” In other words, DNA doesn’t actually encode your individual traits; it encodes long lists of instructions for building various kinds of biological structures if – and only if – the right circumstances arise. In Programming terms, much of your DNA could be described as a nested hierarchy of “IF-THEN” statements, each waiting for the signal to execute the code within. And many of those signals come not from the DNA itself, but from the environment in which it unzips.
What’s Individuality, and Where Does It Come From?
By Ben Thomas
The environment, as noted above, could be a relatively simple and singular event, a collection of experiences or perceptions, or it could be a traumatic event. Either way, there was a moment in time when the DNA unzipped and the train de-railed to a different track, so that by seven years old you became programmed and your wounded inner child dictated the rest of your life. Now, all your thinking, feeling, speaking and perceiving is predetermined. Follow the line from that moment to where you are now: your future is predetermined. You most likely cannot distinguish the moments in time that predetermined your future, let alone what to do about it now. That’s why you need a coach.
“WHAT!?” you say. Yes, your future is predetermined.
You say, “this is stupid, I can learn and grow.”
Yes you can, however, your reaction is a defensive response, which is your Wounded Child Programming at work. The “you” that you think is “you” is actually a series of electrical currents in your brain that define who you think you are. For example, “I’m a man and I’m tough. I stand up for what is right and I jump tall buildings in a single bound.” Your identity is a construct generated from your DNA and life experiences. Is that who you are? Are you your created identity? Furthermore, are you the reactions that come from your programmed identity? If you change the way you react, will that change who you are? Of course not!
For example: The story about Scrooge is an example of transforming your programmed identity. He shifts from being Mr. Grumpy Pants to being a nurturing, supportive man who cares. Let’s develop this distinction, Programming, and then look at how to transform it.
Programming:
You have 3 Brains: (a.k.a. Programming)
- Neocortex: newest brain in evolution, most highly specialized in human beings.
- Limbic: mammalian brain
- Cerebellum: reptilian brain – oldest brain in evolution, seat of subconscious mind.
Joe Dispenza – TED talks with Dr. Joe Dispenza
Within our intent to create, it’s the lizard brain that we are so concerned with. This is where our reactions come from and it’s the dumbest part of our brain. This part of your brain is no smarter than a lizard and it houses your defensive positions. The positions you take—right/wrong, good/bad, should/shouldn’t—or ideologies and belief structures that separate you from other people, come from your lizard brain. “I’m right and you are wrong” is old Programming. “I’m good,” or, I don’t want to be bad” is old Programming.
You know the trigger that goes off within you when you have been made fun of or made to feel wrong? Or, after feeling made wrong, you counter back in your head by saying, “No as***** you’re wrong” because you’re too scared to say it out loud? Or, your created belief structure that has you avoiding communication because you already know what the other person is going to say, such as “I would say something but he never listens”? That your lizard brain limiting your ability to free express yourself.
Listen up! Programming limits you and others from creating powerfully!
Further examples:
You avoid, defer, defend, hide, try and lie to yourself and others so that you get to look good, feel good, be right and feel safe.
Or you run the program to be admired because you seek validation for self-worth.
You have all the answers. You like to tell people what to do. You like it when people come to you for help.
Or you run the program of a victim and say things like, “You never listen to me” or make “you always” statements i.e., “you always ask Joe for feedback and not me.”
You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know:
Programming takes complete control over you. Walk to the edge of the Grand Canyon, and you’ll notice that you lose control—you cannot take another step. You cannot drive your car into a tree or off the road consciously. Fear takes you over. This is the lizard brain’s job. Its job is to keep you alive so that you don’t kill yourself. I mean, it’s a necessary thing, but you learned all that by the time you were five years old. Why are you still letting it run your life!? Because you have no control over your Programming—It’s running your life.
This reactive mechanism isn’t the issue. The issue is you. For example, Programming can only limit your capacity to create when you define your “Self” as “It”.
- When you define your ‘Self’ as your Programming, you will be limited to its Programmatic Responses.
- Programming is the defined by what “you” think is “you.”
- The sentence you declare is “you” imprisons “you.”
Your identity is the defining limiting belief about yourself, which you have created, and sets in motion a life of limitations.
Ok, let’s make this real. I am right now giving you an opportunity to enter into a process with me:
- i.1. Begin by getting in touch with your limited self. Notice all the ways you stop yourself from achieving.
- i.2. Now, get in touch with the reality that your life is predetermined. Not by a god or goddess but rather by YOU. You have choice in every moment, yet your ability to decide is programmed/limited and therefore predetermined. You don’t know what you don’t know! You have no control over which direction your life goes. You have already created it, and yes it will play itself out. Will you let yourself get that TRUTH?
- .i.3. Are you noticing resistance? What are you thinking right now? What are you feeling right now?
This is your Programming. What is it saying is, “I don’t need to do this, my life is fine. This is a stupid article.” Or, are you saying, “You are right I am a loser, I have no control over my life” Can you see that that is your Programming defending you so that you don’t have to come face to face with the reality that you lost access to creating your life a long time ago?
Will you let yourself get that you are completely programmed? Not with a judgment like it’s good or bad; simply get that you are programmed. AND will you tell the truth about the resistance that you are beginning to notice? Surrender to your stupid lizard brain, don’t defend it!
Are you feeling resistance?
Or are you avoiding?
The resistance that you may be feeling at this time is created by the cerebellum (reptilian brain), and its job is to keep you alive. The question that you want to ask yourself at this time is, what is ALIVE? What is the thing that is alive and active in your life?
Your wife asks you about your day, your kids run up to you yelling, “daddy, daddy” and you get triggered. You say, “Jesus honey, I just walked in the door, can I get a second?”
Why is this triggering? Your protective Programming is counter acting a threatening situation. But what’s being threatened?
- Your ability to be loved and supported?
- Your ability to share honestly about your day?
See, the issue here is that your Programming is working against you. It’s not letting you work on your limiting behaviors that sabotage your life’s wellbeing so that you can create excellence. Your Programming is doing its job. It’s protecting you from being hurt—oops, I mean loved. This is why you are stuck. You are Programmed not to see distinguish yourself from your Program!
Programming does not let you perform, grow, or access excellence beyond its Programmed capabilities; it sees such success or possibility as a threat to its existence. Since your lizard brain’s programing is set to keep you alive, it will always fight for your life. But who is the “you” that it is fighting to keep alive? For example, if you programmed yourself to be broke, then your Programming will fight for you to not get a job. If you programmed in that love is being dominated/controlled or victimized then your Programming will fight for you to seek out romantic relationships that are destructive. If you programmed into your brain that you need all the answers, the you might surround yourself with losers so that you can save them all and think you’re smarter than the rest. Your current reality is an extension of your programming.
Are you starting to see the nature of Programming? Perhaps you are starting to see why you are where you are in your life!?
Here’s a real life example that I encountered last week while working with a sales manager; we will call him BJ.
I ask BJ, “Let me get this correct; your top sales person, Wakeem, walks in late for a meeting with you and your team. During the meeting he interjects out of turn and disrupts the meeting. Then he misses a training session with a new hire. And because of this you feel overwhelmed and you tell your boss that Wakeem cannot be trained. He is untrainable.
I also got that you see Wakeem as a natural sales person but he cannot train others and there is no way he can be a manager. Is that about right, BJ?”
“Yes,” BJ says, “that’s about right.”
“Ok so I got it, can we look at it now?” I say, while I think to myself that this is a perfect example of how his Programming is sabotaging performance.
Question one: “Why didn’t you confront Wakeem when he walked in late?”
BJ replied, “Well, I didn’t want him to look bad in front of his peers.
I interjected, “Really, who didn’t want to look bad?”
BJ replied, “Well, I didn’t want him to feel confronted by me if I called him out.”
“I see. Now if you were going to confront him how would you feel?”
BJ Replied, “Well I would feel like I was picking on him.
So you felt what in that moment.
I felt uncomfortable.
Yes, you felt uncomfortable and decided from that place. You decided to protect yourself not Wakeem. Is that what we just discovered.
Okay, yes I see. Yes, I see, I didn’t want to do it. I am the one who didn’t want to be confronted.”
“Great, thank you for your honesty.” I replied.
“Can we work on creating a new way of being that empowers you and Wakeem? Are you interested in this?” I ask.
BJ replied, “Yes, thank you for your help.”
We moved forward in the coaching conversation to create an agreement that empowers BJ and Wakeem both. This possibility showed up when BJ got in touch with the possibilities that are available for him and his team though taking on his own Programming. As BJ came to see how he created the negative consequences for Wakeem by not managing boundaries and setting agreements, he got committed to making and managing agreements. When BJ got that he blamed Wakeem, verses taking full responsibility for Wakeem’s results, so that he could avoid fear of looking bad, he got committed to accountability and honesty. He will tell the truth about his decisions versus trying to be safe or look good.
The interesting part for me is what is now possible for BJ and Wakeem. Wakeem gets an effective boss that empowers him to perform and BJ gets an effective team member. As BJ works on making and managing agreements, he gets the opportunity to transform his Programming while Wakeem gets the opportunity to create breakthrough results. BJ has created a symbiotic relationship that is empowering through learning how to be responsible for his own Programming. Through being responsible, BJ gets to be with Wakeem in a way that is empowering for BJ (self), Wakeem (other) and the Organization!
Transformational Business Dynamics aligns the “self” with empowering choices that transforms the organization. TBD shows how authenticity, accountability and radical honesty moves people through limiting programmatic reactions and into an unreasonable stand for excellence. TBD sees the Self as the whole; the Self is the source that transforms the corporation.
This is what inspires me to take on Business Coaching. Through creating a Transformed Corporate Culture people learn how to see their Programming, they can choose to learn new skills that empower the self, others and the organization to create, thus overcoming the resistance that disabled them in the past. Thank you for considering transforming your Programming, your Corporate Culture!
Transformational Business Dynamics
Coach Pete 310.415.1148
TMDCoachPete@gmail.com
Transformational Business Dynamics aligns the “self” with empowering choices that transforms the organization. TBD shows how authenticity, accountability and radical honesty moves people through limiting programmatic reactions to create a way of being that causes results. TBD sees the Self as the whole; the Self is the source that transforms the corporation.